Everything is great about this except the World Snake's eyes. It gives the impression you totally screwed up the perspective, because the jaws look to be straight on from the side, but the eyes look like it is rolled over towards the viewer. Did it really have huge eyes, and two on each side?
i read the entire fanfic and i have to say this is just so awesome to buid a fic for the other 3 of the elements of harmony but my writing skills are lacking and my imagination to this fics storyline is way underdeveloped but i do hope the original author does do another series for the other 3 of the mane 6 long live ponydom lets us all be guided by their unwavering friendship cus like the title goes "friendship is magic"